Alcoholic Experiences
by homesweethomicide13
Summary: Lief is curious about alcohol, and so Barda tells him of his first experience with alcohol, when he was only a young guard... Humour Oneshot.


**Title:** Alcoholic Experiences  
**Author:** homesweethomicide13  
**Rating:** T  
**Warning:** Alcohol is present here XD  
**Pairing:** None specified  
**Disclaimer:** I own the guards, and the plot. That is all.  
**Summary:** Lief is curious about alcohol, and so Barda tells him of his first experience with alcohol, when he was only a young guard...

**Alcoholic Experiences**

It sat on the table in front of him, a cool clear liquid in a tall, rounded bottle. Lief eyed the bottle with curiosity, wondering what it was and where it came from. He'd come into the kitchen for some time alone and perhaps a snack or two, but instead he'd found this. It had been hiding at the back of one of the cupboards, surrounded by boxes of tea and jars of jam. It had a label, but Lief didn't understand what it was – he'd never heard of such a thing called vodka before.

He bravely reached forward and drew the bottle closer, fingers grasping the lid tightly before unscrewing it. He bent towards it, and lifted the lid free. One sniff and the lid was back on in a second. Whatever it was, it had a very strong aroma. It burnt the inside of his nose and made his head feel funny. He contemplated tasting it. What if it was poison? Quickly, he checked the Belt, but every gem gleamed at him, bright and full of colour.

"So… no poison or evil will." He murmured to himself. "Well, you only live once…" He opened the bottle whilst pinching the end of his nose, and tipped the bottle towards his mouth. He'd only let a little of the liquid into his mouth before he slammed the bottle back onto the table, gasping and choking. Had he been fooled? His throat was burning and the strange feeling in his head became worse. He was about to get up for some water when the door opened, and in walked Jasmine, Barda at her side.

"Ah, Lief, there you are! Barda and I were looking for… are you alright?" Jasmine instantly spotted Lief's discomfort and rushed to his side. "What's happened?" Lief opened his mouth to speak but the back of his throat was still burning. Barda strolled over and tilted the bottle so he could read the label. Then he chuckled.

"He's fine, stop worrying." He said to Jasmine with a smile. "He's just had his first taste of alcohol, that's all." Lief stopped coughing and swallowed saliva. Alcohol? He knew what that was, though he'd never had it before. As a boy, he'd heard of men who drank it regularly, though neither of his parents had touched the stuff. "Vodka probably isn't the best way to begin, Lief. I suggest you try something a lot more… milder." Jasmine passed Lief a glad of water and he drank it in one.

"I didn't know it was alcohol." He gasped out. Barda laughed at his reaction to the alcohol. "I think I'll stay away from it for sure. I don't know why so many men and women enjoy drinking it – it's horrible!" Jasmine sat down beside him, hiding a smile. Barda joined them, slumping into a chair with a sigh.

"Everybody says that the first time, Lief." He grinned. "I did, too." He shrugged casually. "Of course, now I'll gladly have a glass of whiskey every night." Jasmine laughed.

"When did you first try it then, Barda?" He smiled at her.

"I was only a young man, younger than Lief even. It was my first year as a palace guard, and the older men introduced me to the stuff. I must have been about… sixteen?" He laughed as his young friends stared at him in surprise. "What? So I was a little under the age limit, but the other men didn't care. They just wanted a new kid to play around with." He scowled. "They got what they wanted, I suppose. I wouldn't go near alcohol until about four months later."

"What happened?" Lief asked, genuinely curious. Jasmine nodded along with him, eyes shining with excitement.

"Tell us what happened, Barda, please?" He sighed.

"Fine, I'll tell you…"

_Many Years Ago…_

It was early evening in Deltora, the sun caressing the horizon gently as the inhabitants of the palace hurried along in the dinnertime rush. Cooks raced around the kitchens, preparing the evening meal for the royal family and the noble Lords and Ladies. Mothers called their children inside to wash before dinner, while men hurried through the hallways towards home.

One young man had his mind set on going home as he shuffled through the west wing of the palace, commonly known as Guard's Corner. This was where the offices, training centers and communal rooms of the palace guards was located. Dressed smartly in his pale blue uniform, the young man pushed open a large door and walked into the room beyond, ignoring the sudden wave of sound that hit him. He quickly made his way to a long desk at the far end of the room, where six highly-ranked guards sat, marking off names on rolls of parchment. This was where palace guards came when their shift was over, and they could go home to their families. He waited in line before one of the guards beckoned him over, and he gladly signed out.

He was about to go back the way he'd come when four large men circled him. They were all grinning, but the young man didn't like the look of their eyes.

"Off home, Barda?" One of them – the ringleader of the pack – asked with a laugh.

"Yes, Falker, my shift just finished." He replied politely, as he had been taught to. This seemed to amuse Falker and his gang.

"Excellent. Fancy kicking back in the tavern with us?" There it was. Barda's reason to be worried. The tavern was the bar at the far end of the Guard's Corner, built purely for guards to relax and have a drink or two after work. However it was a well-known rule that only guards the age of eighteen or above were allowed in. Any below that were banned.

"Thanks, but I-,"

"What? Does mommy not like you being out after dark?" Falker's right hand man jeered. Barda scowled. It was common knowledge that Barda had a particular strong bond with his mother, and that Min was a worrier, and so he was often teased as such, normally in an attempt to get him to do something. Needless to say, it usually worked.

"Shut up." Barda growled, frowning. "What I was going to say is I'm not old enough. I'm only sixteen, you know that, _Miller_." Miller sneered and turned away from him. Barda smirked – mission accomplished. He'd shown up the right-hand man. A hand descended on his shoulder, and Miller's brother Delta grinned at him.

"So what? We can get you in." He said quietly. "Come on Barda, be a man!" That was the other remark that usually got Barda to do something. He shrugged off Delta's hand and sighed.

"Fine. I'll go." He said, defeated. Falker grinned.

"Wonderful. Come on." The five of them left the room, making towards the tavern with excitement, eager to start drinking. Barda hung back slightly, trying to think of ways to get away from it. The truth was, his mother was expecting him home for dinner, which – as far as he knew – was very soon. If he didn't turn up, she'd get worried and come here looking for him. If she found out he was in the tavern, he'd be in trouble.

"Hey." The last member of Falker's gang had slowed his pace and was strolling alongside Barda, a smile on his face. "You won't have to stay there long. Falker will get drunk pretty quickly and then you can slip away." Barda was surprised at first, but then he grinned.

"Yeah, thanks. You're Jackal, right?" The guy nodded. "Yeah. I heard about you once." He shrugged casually. "Hard to forget a name like Jackal."

"Hard to forget a name like Barda." Jackal replied, still smiling. "I've heard about you too. The Chief expects a lot from you." Barda just nodded and kept quiet. Everyone in the palace knew that Chief Ashton expected Barda to take over his position one day. It was a lot of pressure for the sixteen-year-old, but he held it well. The fact that he was slowly becoming known as the fastest, strongest guard in the palace wasn't exactly helping to improve his position, but there wasn't much he could do about it.

Falker found them a table in the tavern – quite a task considering the time of day – and called for someone to serve them. Barda sat in the middle, two large men on either side of him, and stared around in wonder. He'd never seen the inside of the tavern before, and he hadn't realized how vast it was. His attention was drawn to the woman approaching the table. She was dressed in a white shirt and a short black skirt, showing off long slim legs. Her hair – a fine golden blonde – was tied out of her face. She grinned at the men as she reached the table.

"Ah, Nancy! I'm glad we came here on your shift." Falker grinned back at her.

"Cut it out, Falker, you always come here on my shift." Nancy laughed. "What'll it be boys?"

"The usual, darling." Falker told her. "And an extra this time, and make it a special. We've got company." He nodded at Barda, who began to sink lower in his seat. He'd spent many of his early teens around girls of his age, but none of them quite compared to this Nancy, who was older and prettier. She flashed a smile at him and winked.

"Looking good, kiddo." She laughed. "But of a young 'un, ain't he?" She asked Falker, who smirked.

"Aye, darling, but he's a man on the inside." Had Barda not felt so awkward at the time, he would have recognized the compliment Falker had casually slipped in. However, he was far too busy with trying to ignore Nancy and her _very_ womanly figure.

"I'll bet." She laughed heartily. "I'll be back with your drinks in a moment, boys." She turned and stalked away, hips swaying and head held high. Falker exchanged a smirk with Delta, and Miller leant to one side to watch her walk away. Jackal turned to Barda and spotted his discomfort. Unfortunately, Falker spotted it too.

"Well, well… I think somebody liked the look of our Nancy." He laughed. Grinning, he leant forward. "Think again, Barda, she's way out of your league." Delta and Miller laughed, but Jackal remained quiet.

"Wouldn't look twice at you." Delta added with a smirk.

"Not a chance, pal." Miller agreed. Barda scowled and lowered his head, eyes staring hard at the table. He didn't care about whether or not Nancy would 'look twice' at him. He wasn't interested in her. Nancy soon appeared again, carrying a tray of glasses.

"Here you go boys. A whiskey for Falker, gin for Miller, vodka for Delta, rum for Jackal, and a special mix for the pretty boy." Nancy sent Barda another wink and he fought back a blush. This greatly amused everyone else. "Try not to get too drunk, boys." With that, she walked away. The four men raised their glasses and drank deeply. Barda remained still, staring at his drink and hoping no one would bring up Nancy again.

"What's the matter, Barda, never had alcohol before?" Falker laughed. "Try it, you'll love it. All the palace guards drink alcohol, Barda, and you've got the best mix in there. It's got vodka, rum and whiskey in it. You'll like whiskey; it's a man's drink." He took another swig of his own whiskey. Determined not to be made fun of again, Barda shrugged and picked up the glass, lifting it to his lips. All eyes were upon him as he tipped it back, taking a long swig of the contents. The glass was lowered to the table, and Barda fought back a choking cough.

He instantly regretted the long swig. A burning fizz trickled through his insides, settling into his stomach like fire. The back of his throat felt scorched, and his tongue was stinging. Whatever was in that glass certainly didn't agree with his head, either. He screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, aware that the men around him were laughing. He grew suddenly angry. They knew he hadn't had alcohol before, and so they gave him the strongest drink they knew about, just so they could laugh at him. He was their fun for the night, and he didn't like it at all.

"Oh ha-bloody-ha." He snapped, jumping up. "That's right, make fun of the kid who has never tasted alcohol before." The laughter stopped suddenly, and Falker stared at Barda in surprise.

"Hey, take it easy buddy, we're just playing-"

"I don't care! I don't find this funny at all." Barda was furious. How dare they make fun of him?

"Whoa, somebody needs to calm down. It's all just a bit of fun." Miller said quietly. Barda turned on him.

"Fun? I don't see the fun in this!" He lifted a tightly clenched fist and was about to launch it into Miller's face when he suddenly felt dizzy. He swayed on his feet and lowered his fist to grasp at the table. "Whoa…" Jackal quickly took hold of Barda's shoulders and lowered him into his chair again.

"I think you should sit down. The alcohol has gone right to your head." He said quietly. Barda shook his head and reached for his glass.

"I'm fine." His words were slightly muffled and there was the beginnings of a slur in his voice. "I can drink alcohol just like any other man!" As he tipped the glass back one more time, Jackal shot a glare at Falker, who grinned sheepishly. When Barda slammed the glass back onto the table, it was empty. "Bring that pretty lady back, I want another."

"Hey… I think you should slow down a bit." Delta said slowly, holding Barda's arm down when he went to call for Nancy. "It is your first time after all-"

"No! I want another, kay?" Falker laughed.

"You heard the man, Delta. Nancy! Another for the pretty boy!" He called to Nancy, who nodded and quickly came over with another drink for Barda. "There you go, my man. Have fun." Barda grinned and took the glass instantly. He didn't take such a big gulp this time, but instead only took a mouthful.

"This stuff tastes good." There was a definite slur in his voice now, and Jackal sighed. For a first-timer, strong alcohol was a big no-no. He'd be unconscious within the hour, he knew it. And what would they tell his mother? "But… why does it look like the room is moving?"

"Oh boy, he's gone!" Miller grinned. "This kid is much more fun than the last guy!" Barda grinned at Miller.

"He-ey… there's more than one of you!" He drank deeply from his glass again. "My head feels funny."

"Maybe we should take the drink away from him before he gets any worse." Jackal suggested. Falker shook his head.

"No way! Let him have fun, Jackal!"

_Three Hours Later_

"Wow, after those first three, he's downing them in one!" Delta laughed, watching Barda polish off another drink – this time, a simple beer. They'd moved him off the whiskey, rum and vodka after his fourth drink, and instead ordered beer and cider for him. With each finished glass, Barda became more and more relaxed and carefree, even laughing and joking with Falker and Miller. Jackal, who was considerably more sober than anyone else at the table, was keeping a careful eye on the sixteen-year-old.

"He's got pretty good tolerance for someone who's never had alcohol before." Miller said with a grin. "This kid is a legend!" Falker nodded agreement.

"I didn't think he'd be this much fun to be around, but lookit him!" Falker laughed, pointing at Barda, who was standing with other young men, participating in several drinking games. "Come on, let's go join him!"

Barda was past the stage of awareness now, and barely registered what he was doing. He didn't notice that whenever his glass was empty, someone would refill it. The room was spinning around him, and his head felt heavy, but he didn't care. He was enjoying himself.

Falker slung an arm around him and clinked their glasses together. Miller and Delta joined them, but Jackal stood to one side. He had a bad feeling about Barda's alcohol intake.

Half an hour later, he knew why. Falker, Miller and Delta were playing another drinking game with the other guards, but Barda was nowhere in sight. Jackal began to panic slightly. He looked around, but he couldn't see him anywhere. Then Nancy was at his side, supporting a barely conscious Barda.

"Found this guy slumped at the bar. I think he's had his lot for tonight." She laughed. Jackal took his weight from her and smiled thankfully at her. She lifted Barda's head and he grinned at her. "Why don't you come back here in a couple of years, pretty boy? I'll gladly serve you all night." She kissed his cheek before stalking off at the sound of her name being called. Jackal raised his eyebrows. Perhaps the others had been wrong when they'd said Nancy would never look twice at Barda.

"Right, Barda… I think we'd better get you home." Jackal sighed. He looked over at Falker, Delta and Miller and decided they wouldn't notice if he took Barda home and came back afterwards. Slinging Barda's arm around his neck, he helped Barda walk out of the tavern. "Barda? Where do you live?" Silence. "Barda?" Jackal looked into the young man's face and groaned. Out cold. "Oh jeez… I'm dead. His mother will kill me. So will my superiors." He lifted Barda into his arms as he tried to think of what he could do.

"Hello there, Jackal, helping a friend home are we?" Jackal froze. That kindly, laughing voice couldn't belong to anyone except-

"Chief Ashton!" He hoped the Chief wouldn't recognize Barda. Not likely, but he could hope. "Yes, yes I am. But… I don't know where he lives."

"Ah, you're a bit stuck then, aren't you? I can probably help you out." Ashton smiled. "Who do we have here-" He stopped. Frowned. Then sighed. "I'll take it from here, Jackal. I'm curious as to why a sixteen-year-old is currently in a drunken stupor, but I'll ask questions after Barda is safe at home." He took Barda from Jackal and sent Jackal a long, hard look. "It's not like you to lure an underage boy into the tavern, so I'm assuming you were simply bringing him home. You can explain later." Jackal nodded and watched as the Chief walked away, carrying Barda as though he weighed no more than a small child.

_Back in the Present_

"What happened when you got home then?" Lief asked, grinning. Barda laughed.

"I can't say for sure since I was out cold at the time, but according to Ashton, my mother nearly fainted herself when she opened the door to see him carrying my unconscious self in his arms." He smiled. "I was put to bed instantly, and she kept watch over me the whole night, just in case there was something really wrong with me."

"How did you feel the next morning?" Jasmine enquired. Barda sighed at the memory.

"Terrible. It felt as though I had my very own blacksmith hammering away inside my skull. Still, once that cleared up a little I managed to actually get out of bed. Thankfully I'd been given the day off by Ashton, to recover from that night." He laughed. "Falker and the boys turned up in the evening, all of them looking very guilty, with my jacket. I'd left it at the tavern during the course of the night and they wanted to return it. My mother answered the door."

"I bet that was fun to watch then." Lief laughed. Barda grinned.

"Nothing more entertaining than watching four big men wilt beneath a short woman's gaze." He sighed again. "I didn't exactly get out of it myself. I got an earful from her, as was right. I shouldn't have touched the alcohol, and I knew that, but… well, when you're a rookie guard, you want to impress the experienced guards whenever possible. Falker got quite an earful from Ashton, too. I'm lucky he saw me as the victim in that event, otherwise I'd have been disciplined too." Jasmine suddenly smirked.

"I have to ask… when you went back to the tavern, was Nancy still there?" Barda grinned at her.

"Oh yeah. Nancy was still there the last time I ever visited." He caught their knowing smiles and he shrugged carelessly. "Way out of my league. Wouldn't look twice at me." Both his young friends laughed. "I think, to Nancy, I'd always just be the young, pretty boy. Wasn't the best first impression, really." Lief looked at the bottle of vodka for a moment. Barda smirked as he saw what Lief was staring at, and he reached for the bottle. "Still, as I got older, I built up a tolerance. That seemed to impress her a little." He opened the bottle, and Lief's nose scrunched up at the smell. Without another word, Barda drank a quarter of the bottle in one, without flinching.

"How can you drink that stuff?" Jasmine asked, eyebrow raised.

"Well maybe I used to drink a line of vodka shots in a row in an attempt to impress her." Barda smiled, slightly embarrassed. "And maybe I'd attempt to drink whole bottles of the stuff as quick as I could… and pretty much do all sorts of stupid games and tests, just to impress her." He shrugged. "Nancy was the girl all guards were after, but never actually managed to get. She was way out of anyone's league, but we never stopped trying." He stood up, screwing the lid onto the bottle. "Still, a few people got pretty close." He moved towards the door, intent on finding Doom. The scarred man always had a stash of whiskey somewhere, and he had a craving for the stuff. Of course, he would have to wrestle it off Doom to get it… but he had a good feeling he'd win this time.

"Were you one of them?" The question stopped him with his hand on the door. He turned and flashed them a sly grin – a grin that hadn't graced his face for many, many years. The grin that he'd been infamous for.

"Maybe I was." He opened the door and began to walk out of the kitchen. "But why don't you ask Nancy yourself?" As the door swung shut, Lief and Jasmine exchanged glances, and matching grins spread over their faces.

They had some enquiries to make down at the guard's tavern.

* * *

_Author's Note: Just a few things to clear up... First of all, I know Lief has already tasted cider, but I think in Deltora, cider is more of a general drink or a stimulant rather than an alcoholic beverage. _

_For those of you who read my other stories, you may recognize the name 'Ashton'. Yes? That's because he's the Chief I pictured before the Shadow Lord invaded, and he has a particular strong relationship with Barda and his mother (he knew/grew up/trained with Barda's father). _

_Also, Falker, Miller, Delta and Jackal are quite a bit older than Barda. Jackal is the youngest of the four, at 26. I figured that in the palace guard community, the older men would pick on the younger men/boys because they see them as easy prey, mainly because they want to be accepted and respected, as clearly shown by Barda. If I continue to write stories like this, be prepared to see Jackal again, he's one of my main characters of Barda's past._

_Please don't use any of my original characters without my permission :) Thanks!_


End file.
